Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
