just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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