the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he fucked my hip out of place.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
