First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
there is puke in my bra ... again
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