Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you would pick up someone in the library
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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