you guys were way drunker than both of me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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