The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
