Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
