So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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