Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
