We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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