...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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