How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
