Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
