I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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