So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
