My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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