I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
