If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
