she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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