Nicole vs. Life
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
