You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
