she was so not down for the gang bang
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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