Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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