I wanna bring you to show and tell
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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