clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well I just put wine in my tea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
