Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
there is puke in my bra ... again
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