Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Please, let me fuck your mom
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
