I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
