weddingsv make me drug and hornr
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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