I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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