all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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