I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
