So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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