we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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