This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
