okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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