His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
