I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
