She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
