I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
