Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
