Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How naked do you want me to be?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
