I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
