Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
