For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
