Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
