We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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