two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
