Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
